for the heartbroken.

See? I told you guys that I would be taking a hiatus before we could all blink an eye..

But life gets busy, and so I guess it's okay.

So, what's new? Honestly, the better question is what has remained the same? Not too much. Iley's level of awesome is still pretty up there. Samson is still a fat, lazy kitty. And I guess outside of everything that's happened recently, I'm still Chelsea.

But let me take you back a little. I guess I could just pick up where I left off and give you every single sad and happy detail from the past five months or so. But none of us has time for that. So here's the condensed, less depressing version..

Distance killed a good thing.
Well, how do we ever know what's REALLY good for us? I don't think we do. And if you're like me and your relationship with a higher power is a little more on the "I do my best to make good decisions, so if I'm wrong about things, maybe I'll still be okay" end of the spirituality spectrum, writing things off as a bunch of meant-to-be scenarios that you may never understand in this lifetime just doesn't cut it for you.

So what happened? How do you go from being extremely content and absolutely elated to finding yourself at the very bottom? Hashtag things I'll never know. But! I do know this..
Sometimes love literally renders you blind, deaf and dumb. You just refuse to see the signs that something was pretty much over before it started. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you care about someone and how badly you want it to work. You can't ignore the signs. You can't ignore the circumstances. And you damn sure can't force someone to be ready for a relationship if he/she just isn't.


So, we went our separate ways. Was it that simple? No, it wasn't. There was the whole back and forth "let's drag this out as long as we possibly can because neither of us wants to allow this to end regardless of the fact that we already know it's over" thing. And let's face it, people. We've all done it. But why? Because our hearts won't accept what our heads already know. It's a constant battle, isn't it? I'm not so sure that our hearts will ever completely get along with our heads. And that's just life. All we can do is take what we've been given and pick out the pieces from the wreckage that will allow us to grow as human beings.

What have I learned? Well, outside of the wisdom I've already spit at you, I have learned that if something is so back and forth and unstable, perhaps we shouldn't be looking at it as "there must be a reason we keep coming back" and more like "there's a reason this isn't working". But what do I know? Maybe people do come into our lives for a period of time just to ruffle our feathers a little and make us FEEL, and maybe those same people will return later in life when they are meant to stay. But maybe they won't.

Life is a puzzle, and I'm not so sure that I will ever fully understand it. But then, do any of us?
Love is a maze, and I'm not so sure that I will ever find my way out of it. But then, I guess maybe I don't want to.

<3 Chelsea