Between Mommy and Make-Believe: great expectations.

So, as it turns out, life is kind of one of those things that doesn't slow down for anything or anyone. Furthermore, MOTHERHOOD is one of those things that doesn't slow down. Ever.

These are truths I'm learning to accept.

Yes, it doesn't matter what kind of mood I'm in, what happened at school or work or among my friends or in my life love. Nope. There is always this tiny--well, not so tiny, but forever tiny to me--human who expects what I will pick her up from school, drive her to her activities, provide her food, read her Harry Potter, take her on adventures (such as the ones shown below) and, well, this list goes on.

Expect. Yes, she expects these things. Why? Because it's what she knows. It's all she knows, really. And I mean, duh. It's just my job, right?

So, my point of this post is to talk about expectations. I mean, come on, we all have them. Whether it be what you expect when you walk into a restaurant. Ya know, what kind of service you'll get, what the food will taste like, what the bill will look like… Or how about when you take a class? You have expectations then, too. You have expectations as to what your professor will offer you, what the course material will be, how you'll study and what grade you'll come out with.

And then there's this part of your life that, whether you like it or not, is there…

Love.

Yep. That's right. I said whether you like it or not. Because it doesn't matter if you want to be a part of it or not, love will find you. It will, you guys. And even when you've made a vow that you want no part of it, the desire for it is there. Why? Because you're human, that's why.

So, how does this tie in with expectations? Well, duh. I guess I don't even have to say it, but since you're here on my blog reading my thoughts, we both know I'm going to tell you what I think about love and expectations.

Here goes:

They are there, those damned expectations. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you think you're getting yourself into. Expectations are there. You cannot get away from them. And I honestly feel weird saying that, as I read an amazing article the other day on Elephant Journal that discussed how love should be about letting the one you are in a union with be free--allowing that person to do what he/she wants and pursuing what makes him/her happy without having so many expectations of that person to the point that you're molding that person into your image of him/her instead of allowing that person to freely be whoever he/she is.

Make sense? Sure. That seems like the healthiest way to go about things, right? Yes. It is. I agree 110% with that idea, although I have repeatedly made the mistake of unintentionally expecting someone to morph into my idea of the perfect guy. And that's just unfair, right? It really is. Why can't we just learn to love what's there without having any expectations? Because we just innately have expectations. They are a part of us from birth.

So, is there a solution to this problem of expectations and how some lovers feel that they just shouldn't exist? I don't think so. However, I do think that there is a healthy way to express those expectations and there is a healthy way for your partner to meet those expectations without the whole "change who you are to please me" nonsense. Because that'll never do.

I guess the only thing that I can tell you is to just love your partner for what is there. Go into a relationship knowing what you deserve and what you'll stand for, but know that you may have to…brace yourselves…wait for it….MAKE SACRIFICES… Yes, sacrifices. You may have to learn to accommodate that schema you've created in your head as to what your perfect partner should be. And visa versa.

It's a really hard thing to learn how to balance, but I think it could be done. You just have to decide if that person is worth it.

So, love freely. Don't expect someone to rearrange his/her life goals and/or personality to fit your image of the perfect mate. But try not to beat yourself up when you realize that try as you may, you're human and you will have expectations.

Oh, and speaking of expectations..

I saw Eisley and Merriment for the..well, I lost count a year ago…time! And as expected, they were amazing. Yes, they were.